But when Olivia's limp worsened after two months of anti-inflammatories and pain killers, Dr. Arnott finally referred me to a specialist. This guy took one look at her limp and said immediately that she wasn't limping from nerve pain. He suspected either a torn or injured ligament in her right rear leg. He studied Dr. Arnott's x-rays from September and then took new ones to confirm his suspicion.
When he returned to the waiting room though, his face held a stunned expression.
"It looks like a tumor," he said. "I'm so sorry."
What? But it could be a shadow, right? Or benign? Or a fungal infection, which can mimic the symptoms of a tumor? Or a mistake, or anything, anything....
But when the surgeon performed a biopsy four days later,the report confirmed my worst fear: fibrosarcoma and possibly the even deadlier and aggressive osteosarcoma. Bone cancer. The surgeon couldn't get a wide enough margin for a definite reading because Olivia's leg is already so fragile, the bone was crumbling around the entry point of the needle.
Amputation is only a palliative measure, not a cure. If it were a cure, I wouldn't think twice, but removing the affected limb will buy Olivia a mere 4-9 additional months before the cancer returns. And it will return because it's in her marrow. It's only a matter of time. I can't put her through such an invasive procedure for such a short fix. I can't do that to my sweet girl.
This Wednesday marks our third anniversary when, on November 19, 2011, I saw my three-year old "little tiger" for the first time at Golden State Greyhound Adoption. When I took Olivia home that night, I was walking on air, thrilled at the many years we had ahead of us to look forward to. Now, we have just weeks.
I am sick with grief. Absolutely sick.
12 comments:
I'm so sorry Eileen! We lost our dog to Osteosarcoma also. My thoughts are with you!
Dawn
I'm so sorry honey. It is such a kick in the gut when we lose them like this. I'm so glad she had you for her short time here. Hugs to you both.
I'm so sorry. I know that you will support Olivia in any way possible - just know that we are thinking good thoughts for you and your pup.
Too sad for too many words.
We lost our Bogie one year ago this month from cancer too. It came fast, he became ill fast. We had a wonderful vet (Heaven from Home
www.heavenfromhome.com -Livermore Valley) come over our home when he let us know he hurt too much. It was a gentle passing at home in our arms for our gentle boy. I cry for you and feel your pain!
Oh ****! You don't know me, but I read your Chronicle columns and have been following the blog for a long time. This is too depressing for words. My heart hurts for you and your beautiful girl. I'm so sorry. It's so damn unfair.
Eileen - I had to keep myself from sobbing when I read your blog about Olivia. Three years is exactly the amount of time I had with my beloved Dude. You expect health issues to eventually take an older dog, but not one as young as Olivia. My heart is hurting just knowing what lies ahead. You have legions of friends and fans who care about you and will give you the all the support you need. Reach out.
Sheila
Eileen: I am so sorry for you. Truthfully, when I read your first posting about a pinched nerve, I had a very bad, negative feeling in my gut that it was more than that. You are doing right by Olivia; treating her with dignity, love, and respect.
We lost our beloved 14 yr almost 3 mo old Chow-mix Titus on Sept 21 after his abdominal cancer - which had been in remission - returned and all was just too much. "The look" in his face told us when it was time; he passed with love, peace, and dignity. We have since adopted 2 wonderful northern breed-mix dogs from the local Contra Costa and Antioch animal shelters. Titus would never want us to have a dog-empty home, saving a canine life or lives is so important. Am sure same is true for you and your pups. I and Titus from Doggy Heaven, and Sid and Lexi on Earth, send love and strength your way.
Losing someone you love is so painful; I know that your beloved "Little Tiger" will be missed. I am so sorry for your loss. She was so lucky to have you in her life for even as little as three years.
I am so sorry. I don't know. Follow what you think is best for Olivia and *you.*
Prayers for you and yours.
I freaking hate this disease! It is also taking one of my co-workers who has three young sons and husband. I have a pit in my stomach- three years is too short but you gave her the three most wonderful years of her life.
So sorry. Olivia will be gone too soon but you gave her so much love. Cherish that.
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