The "Useless Things About Me You Don't Need to Know...

"...But Are Going to Find Out Anyway" list:

My elbows are double-jointed. I can pop them backwards and it freakin' freakity-freaks people out. I love doing that.

I make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. Seriously. The best. Award-winning, even. Blue ribbon.

I like that scritchy-scratchy sound that men make when they scratch their stubbly chins. Not so much on women.

My favorite foo-foo drink is the chocolate martini. Tastes like candy, feels like a smack upside the head with a snow shovel. In a good way.

I can recite entire scenes from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." Just my favorite movie, ever.

I have a Hank Williams song in my iPod. Right next to Lil Wayne.

I was once told by Bruce Jenner, the 1976 Olympic champion with the scary facelift, to shut up. No, I replied, YOU shut up. Okay, I didn't really. But I was thinking it.

My idea of hurl on earth? Eating beets while watching a Nicholas Cage movie.

And last but not least?

I've been declared an honorary Jew. L'Chaim!